I believe that every woman needs another best girlfriend in her life. She needs someone to vent to, someone to share her joys and pains, someone that's going to challenge her to live better, and someone to go the bathroom with her in public places - in short a companion. Something you, as the reader, have to understand about the relationship with Jane is that only thing she really did in that list of things was share in my pain once and we would always go to the bathroom together. Whenever I would have something happen to me that was awful, I would try to tell her. Somehow, she would always think of something like, "You think THAT'S bad, well let me tell you what happened to ME..." Whenever something good happened, it was like, "Well at least SOMEONE had a good day...I'm tired.." And I can't even remember the last time Jane and I had a spiritual discussion. After our relationship ended, I deleted her from my friends, took her number out of my phone, and deleted her email address. I took this seriously. The only thing left was to find someone to fill that very large void in my heart to help it heal.
Jess and I met through Cody. While I was away at Carson-Newman, I lost contact with Cody. (He was dating a girl really seriously at the time, I wasn't comfortable with it, so I didn't call him because once I interrupted them "watching a movie".) In the meantime, Cody and movie-girl broke up and Jess and Cody became best friends during that year. He found me in January of '06 on MySpace. I'm not sure he realized how much I missed him. I wanted to hang out with him immediately and catch up. The more we hung out, the more I kept hearing about this Jess. So, one day Cody and Jess and I met to eat at Angelo's, which is this brazenly mediocre BBQ place that Cody loves. I was excited for two reasons: meeting someone that could mean so much to Cody - he's a really good judge of character; also: I was sure we'd have at least a few things in common personality-wise if we could both put up with HIM.
He brought Jess in with him, she sat down next to him, and immediately there was a connection - something that bound us instantly - we both loved to make fun of Cody. So we did...a lot. He was tag teamed and he didn't like it, but he dealt. Later on, he told me that he didn't expect us to hit if off so well - which I didn't understand...because it takes a special kind of person to put up with him for any length of time so we were SURE to get along.
As time went on, the more Cody and I hung out, the more I saw Jess. The more I hung out with Jess, the more I realized that we had a lot more than Cody in common.
The defining moment in our relationship, and really the beginning of it, came one night when the three of us were at Cody's. He decided that we needed some pizza, so he left us poor females at his house while he went and bought one. She and I started talking about the possibility of him moving to Texas (a whole 'nother blog in itself). She began to cry and just pour her heart out to me about it. I really did understand how she felt, she let me express myself and we cried together. And then, somehow the conversation changed (because for some reason we both felt better after a little cry). I don't really remember why, but I'm sure the stories ensued and before you know it, we're both dancing like monkeys around the house. I just remember that we were laughing a lot and things were never the same between us after that. I remember thinking to myself - "THIS is what a relationship should be. We talked to each other, comforted each other, and now we're both being dorks and dancing all over this house like mad-women. And do we care what we look like to each other? Not a bit. We're just being ourselves - and that's fine with me!"
The more I'm with her, the more I see what I was missing in past relationships. Jess challenges me to be more Christ-like - not just in conversation, but by example. She shares my joy, she shares my pain. She does her best to come to the YMCA with me every morning to workout - which really means a lot to me, considering how much of a night-owl she is. I can tell her anything, she can tell me anything. She makes me laugh, and on occasion has made me cry - but in a good way. Her prerogative in our relationship is to please the Lord, not to gain attention or seek stability - that blesses me to my very core. And I have to say I'm surprised at how much someone letting you love them can heal a wounded heart. I still pray for Jane, I still love her, but right now, I'm focused on what God wants. Jess is helping me get there, which is something Jane never even talked about. Slowly, but surely, my heart is healing because of this friendship God has placed in my life.
I know that He isn't finished with my heart. He's still changing me - still molding me into the woman I am to become. And I know that along the way, in that never-ending quest for balance, some might get hurt. But that's okay. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and look for that little Godsend that will get you through. My Godsend's name is Jess and I know I'll be okay as long as she's around.
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